His battle with alcohol reared its head again during England’s COVID-19 lockdown last year, when Payne said he took a break after working on new music for months due to exhaustion, which turned out to be the “worst thing in the world for me. Having a lot of time at home - I think a lot of people had this same sort of thing: alcohol. Liam Payne Confirms Split From Maya Henry: 'I've Just Not Been Very Good At Relationships' So at a certain point, I just thought, ‘Well, I’m going to have a party for one,’ and that just seemed to carry on throughout many years of my life.” We were always locked into a room at night,” he said. “The problem was, in the band … the best way to secure us, because of how big we’d got, was just to lock us in our rooms. Part of the problem during the 1D days was the intense security needed to keep Payne and bandmates Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Louis Tomlinson and Zayn Malik safe, which Payne said often involved locking them in their hotel rooms. “As a teen, the one thing you need is freedom to make choices and freedom to do stuff. I just didn’t like myself very much, and then I made a change.” “And it was only until I saw myself after that I was like, ‘Right, I need to fix myself.'” He described seeing pictures of him on a boat when he was “all bloated out,” describing what he called his “pills-and-booze face. My face was just, like, 10 times more than it is now. “Yeah. There is some stuff that I have definitely never, never spoken about. When Bartlett asked if those dark thoughts included “suicidal ideation,” Payne confirmed that it did. Louis: And I'd marry you Harry cause it rhymes.Musicians Who Have Opened Up About Their Mental Health Struggles Liam: I'd say Liona Lewis, Louis you'd say? Louis: Go to Harry I'll have to have a think Liam: Um we have our last question form Ola which is an interesting one if you could marry any celebrity who would you marry In my first video diary I explained my love for women who have a taste in carrots since then um I've received plenty of carrots um now I also have a keenest interest in women who like Lamborghinis Louis: Something I've tried with Harry many times. Niall: Simply because if she if he had her phone then she would be able to see him the next day to get her phone back Liam: There was a bit of a weird one were a girl tried to slip um her iPhone into Harrys pocket outside of subway Niall: Um today we got um a box of mushrooms with our faces on them with googly eyes and long hair Harry: She wants to know what the weirdest thing a fan has ever done or sent to us kinda things so Niall? Harry: This question is from louistomlinsonmad I just think SUPERMAAAAAAN, so we're gonna take a few of your questions i - it's been years since I've, um, pulled out the superman card if you like, um, but I think desperate times call for desperate measures and I need to use my heroic abilities now, because. Louis: Somebody needs help! WAHH! Superman is here!. stand behind the camera and watch on and um Connie gave me a shout out and Justin Bieber said hello to me and that was eh it was pretty weird because he's such a big pop star and eh around the world and it's as great as it gets Niall: Eh Justin Bieber was on this weekend as we all know and uh when he was doing his ITV 2 interview I went to the studio to. Louis: Um I'd just like to take this moment to say um the boys have told me I need to be a bit more serious in the diaries so I've tried to go on for a bit of a small talk so I'm just trying to be more sewious Liam: Nobody knew who was going out it was a double eviction thrown in last minute so we were all just a bit nervous I think but over all we had a really good weekend Harry: Hello we're One Direction and this is our video diary week nine
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